Raising Jack

Now that I'm back be sure to check out my new blog, "Raising JD," which documents my transition back to being a dad.

Dragon

I thought a lot about whether to post this because it's very private. But what the hell, you've read this far, haven't you?

I missed my family terribly during the last year. I missed Thanksgiving, my son's second birthday, Christmas, my attractive wife's birthday, and our fifth wedding anniversary...the list goes on.

When I missed my son particularly, I watched this video on my iPod in an attempt to cheer me up (originally downloaded from YouTube)



I think it's one of the most creative, thoughtful, and brilliant commercials I've ever seen.

In my own personal journey, the dragons took the form of artillery rockets which were fired at the International Zone with special intensity last spring.

Joaquin, I won't be able to bring you a toy rocket but I'll bring the next best thing: me -- intact.

For Deb

Sad news: my wife's step-sister, Deb, passed away unexpectedly. I only met her on a few occasions; I will remember her as a great person with an infectious laugh. I said the following prayer for her today at mass:

Corus Angelorum te suscepiat,
Et cum Lazaro quodam paupera,
Aeternam habeas requiem

May choirs of angels accept you,
And with Lazarus, once a pauper,
May you have eternal rest

From the Requiem Mass for the Departed (Missa Pro Defuncta)

Since Deb was Jewish:

Hinei mah tov umah na’im
shevet achim gam yachad

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brethren to dwell together in unity

From Psalm 133

Things I Learned About My Father

Since writing this blog, I’ve learned two new things about my father. When I wrote about one of our popular metaphors for working here -- rowing in a slave ship -- my father emailed me to say he had been in Los Angeles in 1959 and saw Ben Hur at the Egyptian Theater.

He wrote, “Ben Hur was one of the best and most beautiful movies I ever saw, you were not even born. I saw it in the Egyptian Theatre in the early 60's and I don't think I will ever forget that rowing scene. In reading your post, I could hear the rhythmical sounds of the drums. However you are not condemned for life, only for one year, so keep on rowing and very soon, like Prince Juda Ben-Hur, you will return home victoriously.”

I was so touched by what he wrote. He knew exactly what I meant by evoking that scene from Ben Hur. Here, we often say, “row well,” to each other as a way of commiserating our long work hours. More importantly, he reminded that my experience here isn’t permanent although it seemed so when I first arrived. I had no idea he had seen the movie and I hope that when I get home we can see it together.

When I wrote about going to church in the International Zone and that we recited the prayer to Saint Michael at the end of every mass, my father emailed me to tell me he recited the same prayer in Spanish while growing up in the small city of Cananea.

He wrote, “I was touched by what you wrote on St. Michael The Archangel. This, as far as I can remember, was one of the first prayers I learned when I was a little boy in Cananea, and of course it was in Spanish:

San Miguel Arcangel, defiéndenos en la lucha. Se nuestro amparo contra las acechanzas y perversidades del demonio. Que Dios manifieste sobre el Su poder, es nuestra humilde súplica; y tú o Principe Celestial, con el poder que Dios te ha concedido, arroja a Satanás y a los demás espiritus malignos que vagan por el mundo para las perdición de las almas.

He also told me this prayer was recited, also at the end of mass and in English, when we used to go to church as a young family in Downey, California. He found it interesting that this prayer from his childhood was recited at this church in the United States. He also told me that when he visited hist long time friend, who is also my God Father, in a remote village in Mexico, the local parish was called Saint Michael the Archangel. Lastly, he told me that on a recent trip to Hawaii with my mother, the local Catholic Church was called Saint Michael by the Sea.

I had no idea Saint Michael would play such an important role -- in both our lives.

My Wife is a Rock Star

Let me tell you why my attractive wife is a rock star. She has a full time job and, for the past eight months, has been a single mother caring for our two year old son. Our son increasingly has been expressing his will, as two-year olds are wont to do and things have been challenging to say the least.

She wakes up in the morning and either takes him to our neighbors, who take him to Day Care, or takes him herself. She works a full day, then comes home and picks him up, playing with him, feeding him and putting him to bed only to start the cycle again the next morning. In addition, she is managing a two bathroom remodel of our house, working with our contractor, picking vanities, paint colors, faucet fixtures, and marble samples. When I call I can hear the stress in her voice but she continues to put her shoulder into the wheel and keeps going. She doesn’t get a brake.

Although we are blessed with good neighbors and friends who are helping, it’s my wife who ultimately takes on the entire share of keeping our lives at home moving forward. She is tough, smart, and I’m very proud of her. I wish I could do more, aside from offering lame words of encouragement transmitted via satellite. Although life and work remain challenging for me here in Baghdad, the real war is being fought by someone tougher than me on the home front.