Crappers

Just as my three weeks at Ft. Jackson made me appreciate the plight of the common infantry man, so my day-and-half at Camp Virginia made me appreciate the genius of indoor plumbing. The crappers here come in two varieties: the common port-o-potty, or, as my attractive wife refers to them, port-o-lets, and the more Gucci wet crappers which feature flushing urinals and toilets.

The wet crappers (there must be a better name for them) stand imposingly two to a unit and have a stairway leading up to them. This gives the illusion one is arriving at some important place (all too true, of course, depending on one’s current biological condition). Inside can be found a sink, urinal and toilet and copious air fresheners. Trucks arrive in the morning and fill up a water tank at the top of the wet crappers and, separately, to pump out the septic tanks.

When either the sink, toilet or urinal is operated, gravity fed water flushes the corresponding apparatus and feeds to a septic tank below. I’ve already learned it is advantageous to use the facilities in the morning hours when there is still water available for flushing. An informal survey last night showed that most of these units run dry later in the day, effectively demoting the wet crappers into clogged up versions of the port-o-lets.