Scotland's Revenge

A while back, I wrote of office shenanigans between my friend Alan, our Scottish co-worker Neil, and myself. Not long after our japes, Neil embarked on a Scottish Information Operations campaign against us. I came back to my desk and found some creative artwork placed by Neil after I had left for the night. The major themes were the Scottish flag, William Wallace (the Scottish hero portrayed by Mel Gibson in the movie “Braveheart”), and a Scottish comedian. Neil had used Microsoft PowerPoint (the scion of staff officers everywhere) to create some funny stuff. But it was his placement of the propaganda that was most creative: He wrapped my mouse pad, taped stuff to my desk, and, as I found out later in the day, posted a picture of Mel Gibson on the receiver of my phone. Alan’s desk also was appropriately peppered with the stuff. The next month, Alan turned his wall calendar to February and there was more Scottish material. We learned, for example, that "Oi!" means "Hey" and "bassa" means "bastard."

Not wanting to waste good talent, Alan and I placed some of Neil’s work on the plywood walls that surround our office space. A few days later, a British colonel, who works in an adjoining office, remarked, “What is with all this Scottish propaganda?” I explained to him our friendly back-and-forth between Neil and Alan and myself regarding the US and Britain. He found that suitably amusing and, being a Scotsman himself, said he may have to assist Neil. He then pointed out on the wall where Alan and I had placed a copy of the Grand Union Flag, first raised by General George Washington on January 1, 1776. The British colonel said he had never seen the flag, which features the English Union Flag in the canton bordered by thirteen red and white stripes.

Alan and I had to think about how best to retaliate. The answer came a few days later when I received a package of CDs from a friend who works in the music business in New York. She had included the latest Enrique Iglesias CD which featured a small fold out poster of him. We folded it so that it showed just his face and placed it surreptitiously along the wall of Neil’s office area. Neil has great concentration and it took the better part of the afternoon before he found it. What followed was a very creative back and forth of Enrique’s picture. One day he was at Neil’s desk, the other on Alan’s, the next hidden under papers on Neil’s desk, and the next, taped to the inside of my notebook.

I’ve got figure out how to incorporate NASCAR into the next set of placements...